My best friend is twisting my words...

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

apparently I said something that made my best friend "feel stupid" and don't even remember saying anything remotely mean...grrr, I always end up the bad guy and this happens almost EVERY time we talk. I don't know what it is she takes from what I say to her that's mean, but I hate it and it makes me feel really bad when she twists my words...any advice? please???

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

Hey TH_Abby Thanks so much for joining us!

It sounds to me like your friend is feeling rather sensitive at the moment and is taking things a little to heart.
I find that if I am feeling a bit emotional even the slightest comment can make me upset and take things the wrong way!
How long have you been friends? Have you always been just friends? (sorry to ask) I am just trying to get a better picture of what the situation is.
Is there a chance your friend could have some problems going on in her life right now which is making her a stressed and not her normal self?
I really don't think it is what you are saying it is the way she is taking it but there must be a reason behind it?
Please tell me if I am totally off the mark here!
If you could tell me a little more would be a big help.
If you feel ready to.
Kaytee576 (Admin) xxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

We have been best friends since the beginnig of fifth grade and we are almost in the eighth grade now. Nothing is going on in her life that I know of. But she was trying to make me feel bad after she said I made her feel stupid. I asked her why we were even on the phone if she wasn't gonna talk and if we could just talk on IM and she goes "No! I'm taking this IQ test because what you said earlier made me fee lstupid so I'm going to take it again!"

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

I think the problem isn't with you sweetie, It seems like I said before your friend is just taking things a little to heart at the moment, There could be something on her mind she hasn't told you which is making her snappy, Or it could be possible that she is going through a tough stage at the moment,

You are in 8th grade which makes her 13, I wonder maybe it could even be something as simple as the wrong time of the month for her.
I obviously do not know whether she has already but I went through a very emotional roller coaster when I was 13 and hit puberty. If this is what she is going through then she may have just started her Periods and this could mean she feels like her emotions are in a total whirlwind.

I may be off the mark here but as she has been so sensitive and touchy with you I feel she is feeling a bit "under the weather" And I am sure she doesnt mean to take whatever it is out on you, But you often find you take things out on the ones you care about most.

Have you tried talking to her?
I know you will find this hard as you are probably worried she might snap at you again but even if you could do so in a Email?
Tell her you are there for her and that you notice she hasn't been herself lately and is there anything she wants to talk about.
Tell her you are not getting at her, you are only asking as you care about her.
I hope I have helped in some small way,
Kaytee576 (admin) xxxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

yeah, she's been having her periods since she was 10. She flat out told me it was simply because it made her mad that I made her sound stupid. But then she apologized. We're all cool now

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

GREAT Im so glad it is sorted now! Did you chat to her after posting today? I hope I was of some help to you? Take care sweetie, xxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

mhmm. and yeah you definately helped!

Angels-quest · Site Admin Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 75 Location: UK

Hi TH_Abby,
Sorry I'm a little late to this post.
But am sure it isn't you...I know this problem seems to be sorted now, and hopefully it stays that way!

I think your friend is being a little to sensitive with you, and maybe she is just paranoid, and when people get like that, believe me you wouldn't be able to say anything right...if you said the sky was blue, you'd be wrong!!

Could she be a little jealous of you maybe do you think? Maybe she has low self esteem problems, and by bringing you down, making you the bad guy all the time, it is making her feel better.

One thing i will say, is that often we hit out at those we are closest too, so although it doesn't feel like it, it is kinda a compliment to you!

I hope everything is fine for you now & we are always here if you need a chat

Hugs to you.
_________________
Many Hugs & Blessings,
Angels Quest

In Loving Memory of Dad 1945-2002. Nan 1919-2006..and all our furry Babies: Roxy, Suzy,Annie,Peach,Kimi,Cookie,Dudley,Spud,Alfie,Thomas,Chester,Milly,Molly,Harry,Wesley.Until we meet again.xxxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

thanks for helping =] this means alot to me =]

Angels-quest · Site Admin Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 75 Location: UK

Oh, that's ok Darlin, that is what we are here for.
If we made you feel even a teeny bit better, then that is just great

remember we are always here, whatever you want to talk about...we will listen. It may sometimes be a bit longer before you get a reply, as am not sure where you live...but alot of members are in canada or USA & obviously we have different time zones! So usually we are in bed, and everyone else is up & vice versa LOL
But we will get to reply, never fear!

Hugs coming at you

_________________
Many Hugs & Blessings,
Angels Quest

In Loving Memory of Dad 1945-2002. Nan 1919-2006..and all our furry Babies: Roxy, Suzy,Annie,Peach,Kimi,Cookie,Dudley,Spud,Alfie,Thomas,Chester,Milly,Molly,Harry,Wesley.Until we meet again.xxxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

hehe. well we are all sorted out but now I am in tears because I miss her so much. She has been gone to Florida almost a year (she moved) and I have only seen her once since she movoed, and that was in November. Everytime I hear a song that reminds me of her, I start crying...

Angels-quest · Site Admin Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 75 Location: UK

ahhh sweetheart, it is so tough I know. it's not often that you find a real true friend, so it's even harder when you cannot see them hardly at all.

I'm sure she is feeling just as miserable as you are & missing you as much, maybe thats why she acts up a little from time to time!

Well the only good thing is you are lucky to have found a friend that means that much to you. I'll tell you a secret I haven't got one close friend like that, and i could imagine it would be so wonderful to be able to do all the girly things together...I miss it, although i never had it.
So you are not alone see, we will be miserable together huh?!

Will there be any plans for her to come back to where you are Darlin?
Do you have any other close friends?

Life sometimes is a bit too harsh...I am so coming back as a cat, i mean they have 9 lives & dont worry about anything or anyone LOL!

I'm sending you special hugs to make you feel better

_________________
Many Hugs & Blessings,
Angels Quest

In Loving Memory of Dad 1945-2002. Nan 1919-2006..and all our furry Babies: Roxy, Suzy,Annie,Peach,Kimi,Cookie,Dudley,Spud,Alfie,Thomas,Chester,Milly,Molly,Harry,Wesley.Until we meet again.xxxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

hehe. thanks, and yeah I have a couple close friends. Hopefully she is coming back this summer. But anyways, yes. Let's be miserable together

Angels-quest · Site Admin Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 75 Location: UK

damn...so that means you are two more friends up on me....i'm even more miserable now!!

So glad your friend will be back for summer....not too far away & am sure you will both have a fab time together. Sometimes it makes us appreciate things/people more, when they are taken away from us...its a hard lesson to learn. But think of how much more special those times are when you do get to spend time together!

But for now...right have you got your most miserable face on??

Oh, that is scary! Ha...not really....ok, try again...ready sad face.....

was that a sneak of a grin i just saw??huh??.....Ok, I guess that will do for now......ahhh, thats so much better!
_________________
Many Hugs & Blessings,
Angels Quest

In Loving Memory of Dad 1945-2002. Nan 1919-2006..and all our furry Babies: Roxy, Suzy,Annie,Peach,Kimi,Cookie,Dudley,Spud,Alfie,Thomas,Chester,Milly,Molly,Harry,Wesley.Until we meet again.xxxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

hehe XD I mean uh-

yeah that's better

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

I agree with angels-quest!
She is my sister we live two and a half hours away but can never seem to get together. I miss her more each day and wish we could do more stuff together

But she is right when you do get together you appreciate those times more! In the mean time lost of text messages and phone calls (god once im on that phone you cant get me off it!)
NO MORE MISERABLE PEOPLE coz you will set me off LOL
lets make a pact to be the

gang!
Love and hugs from me too! (you can never have to many!) xxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

yess, we will be the

gang =]

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

Nice one thats the spirit!!! we want it to go like this...

Coz thats the Problem Shared Forums Rule! hehe!! Keep smiling sweetie xxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

hehe I feel alot better. And I am feeling excited today ^-^ I found out that we had talent scouts at our talent show last night and I sang a song by my favorite band ever (they are a GERMAN band) haha

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

Well nice one there! So our Th_Abby might be a Star! wow!! Let us know when you hear more! Bet you sang great! xxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

hehe =] I def. will =] I hope I can figure out how to rip dvds to my computer cuz if I do I will send you guys the Talent Show. It got taped by the school news crew and I get a copy of the DVD

Angels-quest · Site Admin Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 75 Location: UK

OOps sorry...I was settling my birds down for bed. Then oh dear, puppy wakes up & i have been chasing him ever since (he keeps running off with everything he pinches out of the recycling sack

)

Thought I'd check in before i go to bed, as i'm looking like this now

Yes kaytee is right, we do live so far apart & only get to see each other once or twice a year if lucky. But like you & your friend we chat on the phone (oh boy, can ya tell we talk too much already?!!) It is very difficult not being in each others lives, to share all the girly things. But we have to make the best of what we have got....and when we do get together, erm, no one can get a word in edge ways!!

So I guess we are all kinda in the same boat....we the 'Miles apart gang'!

Cool well done on the talent thingie....when will you know?I wish they did more of that kinda thing over here. Your schools & stuff are so much more together & fun than ours are. I was glad to leave school, but i imagine if it was more spirited, happening, like a lot in the USA, i'd of enjoyed it more! (i so need to move to the USA.....although Kaytee576 would not be happy if i did!)

ha...did you sing in German?!! I bet it was great & if you can figure it out, of course we would love to see you taking part in your talent show

A star in the making! When you are famous...remember us little ones..LOL

So glad you are feeling so much better & fingers crossed you'd of been spotted for your talent..yay!!

Hugs to you Darlin.
I really must get myself to bed now......if i can catch the puppy that is!!
_________________
Many Hugs & Blessings,
Angels Quest

In Loving Memory of Dad 1945-2002. Nan 1919-2006..and all our furry Babies: Roxy, Suzy,Annie,Peach,Kimi,Cookie,Dudley,Spud,Alfie,Thomas,Chester,Milly,Molly,Harry,Wesley.Until we meet again.xxxx

TH_Abby · Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 12

yess I hope so too =] and thanks