Jokes

helena · Jokes

'A man got into a lift and a blonde was there and she said "T. G. I. F"

He smiled aand replied, "S.H.I.T"

She looked puzzled and again said, "T. G. I. F".

He acknowledged her remark and again replied,"S.H.I.T"

The blonde was a sweet person and she smiled a sweet smile and said as sweetly as possible, "T. G. I. F" again.

The man replied with a quizzical expression: "S.H.I.T"

Then finally, the blonde decided to explain and this time she said, "T. G. I. F" Thank Goodness It's Friday.'

The man replied, 'S.H.I.T, Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'

helena · The blonde painter

There is this blonde who is sick and tired of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she wants to prove everyone wrong. She decides to paint their bedroom. The next day she starts off according to plan.
Her husband comes home after the days work and is surprised to smell
paint.

He goes into the bedroom room and finds his wife lying on the bed, sweating profusely. She is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same
time. He asks her if she is ok and what is she doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that blonde women
were not stupid and she wanted to do it by painting the bedroom and giving him a pleasant surprise...

He asks her why she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat in the heat.

She replies that she was following the directions on the paint can.... "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS"

helena · The drunk man

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.

He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

queenmaria

Poor blondes! There are never any brunette jokes!

There is a magical cliff. Whatever say when you jump off it is what you land in. A brunette, redhead, and blonde climb up the mountain. The brunette jumps off and says
"A million dollars!"
So she lands in a million dollars. The redhead jumps off the cliff and says
"A pool surrounded by a gold mansion!" and she lands in a pool surrounded by a gold mansion. The blonde wonders where her friends have gone and looks over the edge to see if she can find them. She trips and falls.
"Oh, crap"

Kaytee576

LOL these jokes are cool! I was born a brunette and my hair always changed lighter and darker, then I highlighted it blonde and keep dyeing it blonde as I feel it is better as I am so dam daft it matches my personality LOL

No not really I think alot of blonde women are truly beautiful Id rather have that then brains!

(i ain't got either LOL) xxx

Two blondes Leave a bar and walk to their car, Once there they realize they have locked the keys in the car,

So one blonde starts to try to pick the lock with her hair Pin....over half an hour later she is still there fiddling away.

Suddenly it starts to rain real heavy...the blonde picking the lock screams...The other says "OH no Quick I had better put the hood up!"

The car was a convertible....DUH lol xx
Silly Joke I know

Sonia

LOl that's too funny!!!All of them!!!!!

Kaytee576

Another Joke...

I opened my front door today and got beaten up by a beetle

They say there is a nasty bug about!

AHHH no thats awful! anyone think of anymore?! I need a smile! xx

Perdita · Joke

A Pakistani Ambassador to the UN just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Bush. They shook hands and walked together in the long verandah when suddenly the Pakistani said, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."

The Pakistani whispers, "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, Chinese, Japanese and Indians but never any Pakistani, Afghani or Arabs. So my son is very upset. He doesn't understand nor do I about why there aren't any Arabs, Pakistanis, and Afghanis in the Star Trek show."

President Bush laughs and leans toward the Pakistani, and whispers in his ear, "Because... the show is all about the future."

x.Poisoned.x.Rose.x

LOL hilarious, even if i am a blonde xD
born one. I wish i had black hair, though =[

there are never any jokes on black heads either O.o just blondes mainly and brunettes ..
odd.

My brain can currently not find any jokes =[ if i hear o' one though i'll deffo tell ya'all =]
Sometimes i think the jokes are kinda right tho .. i aint top of the class but am pretty smart, and i do sometimes have a hellalot of fun =]

I obviously can't speak for brunettes though xD
But i mainly don't think it matters what your hair colour is. I'm really shy, and most people wouldn't class me as a dumb blonde as i'm usually really good when like in school xD

Meh

marryroy01

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Kaytee576

rofl thats a good one Marryroy and its real nice to meet you

Jokes

The blonde painter

The drunk man

Joke