I would like some advice

queenmaria · Posted: Tue May 12, 2009 1:04 am Post subject: I would like some advice

So this is a problem I would love some advice on. There is a boy I have known since 5th grade (I had the HUGEST crush on him then

). We 'dated' earlier this school year. He appearently liked me a lot, but it wasn't working for me and we broke up.
Then in January he starts talking to me telling me how sorry he was, and wanted me to take him back. I had A LOT going on in my life, and I wasn't really sure about him so I said I had to much going on in my life.
Recently a couple of mutual friends have been urging me to go back out with him. They said he had asked them to talk to me. I said that if he really meant it he would talk to me. So his idea of talking is texting, which frankly seems half assed to me. I know he is shy, but seriously!
When I talk to my friends they say that I should because "he has matured", "he really likes you!" and my favourite, "you guys are so cute together!"
Should I date a boy that I am not sure I really like and possibly won't be a good fit, simply because we look cute together?
I despratly don't want to hurt him because he is so nice. Are there any good excuses I could use?
I feel like Estella from Charles Dicken "Great expectations"!!!

Thanks for reading this, i love you for it.

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I know its sad I never gave a damn about the weather, it never gave a damn about me.

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

Hey Maria, Aww sounds like your in two minds right now and not sure what to do about this guy, If you feel you are not ready for a relationship right now then the best thing to do is let him know this, Im sure he wont take it to heart if you explain your not in the right place right now but you value him as a friend and dont want to loose him and im sure he will understand.

I was in the same sort of situation once! My fiance wanted to go out with me and he was asking me and buying me gifts for over a year, I kept knocking him back because I wasnt in a good place within my mind at the time and it was hard as I had feelings for someone else who had been messing me around so long and I was hurt.
But one day I woke and thought id give it a trial, I was afraid if it went wrong we would loose our friendship but we discussed this and it seemed silly holding back as we could have been missing something special...
I of course am a lot older then you so this is I guess a little diffierent as almost 7 years later and we are still together

But there are ways around things, because right now you dont have to take things seriously you are not at the stage in your life where you are old enough to be looking for someone to settle down, you should be having fun.

If I were you I think I would explain to this guy your not sure you are ready for a relationship and then I would have fun with it, meet up with him be friends spend time together and see if it leads you anywhere else...if it dosent thats cool too as you will have a good friend to hang with.
Your friends have their opinions but the choice at the end of the day is YOURS and yours alone.
As for the texting maybe he is shy?
I hope im of a little help, and good luck with it all, remember i'm/we are always here for you xxx
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queenmaria · Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 5:52 am Post subject:

Thank you! Well, I consulted the tarot cards (hee hee, I know!) and they told me nothing I didn't already know!
Thats a good idea, because I know that I am not a serious relationship type at this time in my life, but he is. I just really don't want to hurt him. I will tell him the truth though. But in a nice way!
I love how the advice I give my friends always works but I can never do it for myself!
And that is so sweet about you and your fiance!
_________________
I know its sad I never gave a damn about the weather, it never gave a damn about me.

Kaytee576 · Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 256 Location: UK

Aww I hope it all works out for you Maria Im sure if you talk to him he will understand. It's funny you should mention Tarot Cards I used mine the other day for the first time in a long time and they came up with things that confused me even more lol.
Wishing you lotsa luck! xxx
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Thank you for joining us. Please remember we are not doctors or trained in anyway, but we are here as we want to help. We do not judge and we are here for you anytime.

queenmaria · Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 12:09 am Post subject:

Mine were actually really correct! Right down to who sort of began the problem. I was very intrigued at the fact that a mysterious stranger will show up. Hmmmmm.

_________________
I know its sad I never gave a damn about the weather, it never gave a damn about me.