A PROBLEM SHARED...

Joined: 21 Nov 2007 Posts: 1

Hi There

Im not sure how to put this so i will just go with the flow,

I just want to see if this somehow helps me with the problem's im facing as i need to talk with someone in away get it off my chest,

I won't go into along story here but basicly my problem's start from when i was 15yrs old i met my kids dad i was with him for 12yrs, im now in my late 30's, lets just say he was a control freak,i was raped nearly every night by him, i suffer from depression but i just carry on with life the best way i can,but this is not the problem, what really is getting me stressed out and in pain is the fact my son is serverly depressed and when he was 17yrs old he tried to take his life resulting in a 3day stay at the hospital, he was doing very well with hiis life for 2yrs,but over the last 2yrs he has just got worse he is now 23yrs old,what hurts the most is he is wasting his life but he refuses any help from anyone, this depression is due to the way his father treated him when we were together, my son was 11 when we split so he remembers most of what happened,

My daughter was almost 4 she don't remember things but he was always letting her down as she was growing up, they no longer see their dad as that is their wish, but due to this she is suffering from agrophobia and we are working with the school and a doctor to help her,my main concern is that she will be leaving school next yr and need's to start working so this will be very hard on her even though she is now doing work experience,

Sorry this was too long but i needed to explain thing's,
i know that noone can help me i just needed to write it down i guess!

Thank you for reading,

Joined: 10 Nov 2007 Posts: 16 Location: PA

Well I was depressed for the longest time too. I went to a phycatrist and took this medacation. I then hung out with my friends a lot. That really helped me recover. I hope it can help you too. My prayers are with you.

Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 69 Location: Leeds, England, UK

Oh wildrose hun .. that's awful! =[
I am depressed most of the time. I hope you can get help for all your troubles.

This site helped me - i think writing your troubles down does help, and now i feel i have people here to talk to and who will understand me =]
I'm only 14 at the moment.

Well like i say, i hope everyone here can help you =] *sighs* there are too many mean men out there ..

Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 23 Location: UK

Sorry to learn about your situation, have you considered just speaking to somebody who will listen? I believe that the Victim Support organisation could help you, they will have a volunteer come and visit you and you can offload to the volunteer in total confidence (I know, I am a volunteer myself!). If you prefer, the volunteer will speak to you on the telephone, it is all up to you and the service is free. This service might also be good for your son.

You might also consider going to the doctor and getting medication, if you feel better, your children might feel better as they see that their mum is not so sad anymore.

Should you experience problems in the relationship with your son, RELATE will also provide you with a trained counsellor, but I think you have to pay for this. You would have to check with your local branch.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. xxx

Site Admin Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 261 Location: UK

Hi Wildrose, I am so sorry for the late reply, I hope you will come back to us soon and I hope you are OK.

I am so sorry to read the painful things you have been through in the past, It is so unfair all this man put you through and I am so pleased you found the strength to walk away and break away from the situation you were in. Though it wouldnt make up for what happened I hope he was punished for what he did to you and your family.

Now It seems you don't only have your own scars from the past to deal with but those of the people closest and dearest to you, your children.

Your son is finding it hard to move on It breaks my heart to read about all of this, I wish there was away of making everything OK for you.
Does your son see anyone? someone out of the family that he can talk to? he really needs that type of support and I know it is hard If he doesn't want to accept it, Im sure you have done this allready but tell him you only want him to see someone because you love him and you want to help him, make him see it is nothing to be ashamed of, millions of people seek help and it doesn't make him mad, We all have to sometimes and it can really help to speak to a stranger and get and outsiders point of view.

I am glad to see your daughter is getting help, do you know where this agrophobia came from? does she talk about how she feels?

I am so sorry if I am not much help and I dont want to interfere, I just want you to know I am here for you anytime you need me or us.

Take care, I Hope you will be OK and ask the angels to help you and send you strength xxx